Hello! Welcome to the third lesson in our module on the practical application of developmental editing.
In our last lesson, we focused on nonfiction, learning how to propose a detailed chapter reorganization to improve logical flow. We saw how an editor acts as an architect, redesigning a book's structure for clarity and impact.
Today, we pivot back to fiction to tackle another fundamental element of a manuscript's architecture: its rhythm and momentum. While a nonfiction book's success often hinges on the logical flow of its argument, a novel's success frequently depends on its ability to manage narrative tension and control the reader's emotional journey. This brings us to today's learning outcome: Suggest specific revisions to improve pacing and narrative tension in a fiction manuscript excerpt.
We will explore the theory behind pacing, identify the specific tools authors use to control it, and then practice how to provide concrete, actionable feedback to help an author master this crucial craft element.
1. What Is Pacing? More Than Just Speed
At its core, pacing is the speed at which the reader experiences the events of the story. It's not just about making a story "fast" or "slow." Effective pacing is about manipulating the reader's perception of time to create a specific emotional effect, such as excitement, suspense, or quiet reflection.
A key concept that helps define pacing is anticipation. As an editor, your guiding question shouldn't just be "Is this too fast?" but rather, "Is the reader being kept in a state of anticipation? Are they worried, curious, or emotionally invested in what happens next?"
How to Pace Your Fiction Novel: Practical Tools & Tips
To start, let's read a short piece that defines pacing through this lens of reader anticipation and introduces three key layers where pacing operates.
Please read the first three sections of the article, from the beginning down to the end of 'Three Ways to Think About Pace'. Focus on the definition of pace as a tool to manage anticipation and the distinction between the pace of the novel, of character development, and of the moment.
As the article highlights, pacing works on multiple levels. While today we'll focus mostly on the pace of the moment (or scene), it's important to remember that this contributes to the larger rhythms of the character arc and the overall novel.
2. The Pacing-Tension Connection
Pacing and tension are inextricably linked. Pacing is one of the primary tools an author uses to build, sustain, and release tension. A well-paced novel isn't one that is relentlessly fast; it's one that modulates its speed to create a dynamic rhythm of rising and falling tension, keeping the reader engaged.
Think of it like a roller coaster. The slow, clanking climb to the top builds suspense (slow pacing, rising tension), the breathtaking drop creates a thrill (fast pacing, high tension), and the gentle coasting at the end provides a moment of relief and reflection (slow pacing, falling tension).
Choosing the right pace for a scene is about matching the writing style to the scene's dramatic purpose.
The Secret to Strong PACING (it's actually really simple)
This video from author Abbie Emmons provides excellent side-by-side examples of effective and ineffective pacing. It demonstrates how the same scene can feel drastically different depending on how it's paced.
Please watch the following segments. For each one, pay close attention to the specific choices—sentence length, level of detail, focus on action vs. thought—that make the pacing feel fast or slow. Fast Pacing that Works (02:50 - 04:48): Notice how short sentences and a focus on action create a sense of speed in a fight scene. Slow Pacing that Fails (04:48 - 06:35): See how introspection and long descriptions kill the tension in the same fight scene. Slow Pacing that Works (06:35 - 09:18): Observe how longer, more descriptive prose enhances an emotional search scene. Fast Pacing that Fails (09:18 - 10:29): Note how quick, summary-style writing strips the emotion from that same search scene.
As you saw, there's no such thing as "good pacing" or "bad pacing" in a vacuum. There is only pacing that is appropriate or inappropriate for the intended feeling of the scene.
3. An Editor's Toolkit for Pacing and Tension
As a developmental editor, your job is to identify when the pacing is inappropriate and suggest concrete ways for the author to fix it. Let's build a toolkit of the specific levers an author can pull to adjust pace, broken down into macro (structural) and micro (sentence-level) techniques.
Macro-Level Techniques
These are larger-scale tools that shape the rhythm of scenes and chapters.
- Scene/Chapter Length: Shorter scenes and chapters generally create a faster pace, encouraging the reader to keep turning pages. Longer ones slow the reader down, inviting deeper immersion.
- Scene Selection (Scene vs. Summary):
- Scene: Showing events in "real-time" with action and dialogue. This generally slows the reader down to focus on a specific, important moment. The technique of "stretching the tension," where a few seconds of action are detailed over a long passage, is an extreme form of this.
- Summary/Montage: Telling the reader what happened over a period of time. This speeds up the narrative, glossing over less crucial events. The "montage pacing" described in the Abbie Emmons video (10:29 - 13:59) is a great example.
- Chapter Breaks (Cliffhangers): Ending a chapter at a moment of high tension is a classic technique to increase pace by compelling the reader to immediately start the next chapter.
Micro-Level Techniques
These are the word-by-word, sentence-by-sentence choices that have an immediate impact on the reader's experience.
1. Sentence Structure
This is perhaps the most powerful micro-level tool. Varying sentence length is critical to creating rhythm and controlling speed.
Book Writing 101: How To Achieve Good Story Pacing
The blog post 'Book Writing 101: How To Achieve Good Story Pacing' has a fantastic, clear breakdown of how sentence length affects pacing. It provides concrete examples that are very useful for an editor.
Please read the section titled 'Sentence structure can make or break pacing'. Focus on the three examples provided (Short, Medium, and Long sentences) and their effects on pacing.
As a general rule:
- Short, punchy sentences: Increase pace. Ideal for action, high tension, and conveying panic or urgency.
- Long, complex sentences: Decrease pace. Best for introspection, detailed description, and creating a languid or thoughtful mood.
2. Word Choice & Phrasing
- Action Verbs: Using strong, active verbs (
he lunged,the car screeched) increases pace and immediacy compared to weaker verbs or "to be" constructions (he was moving,the car was loud). - Active vs. Passive Voice: Active voice (
The sniper saw them.) is more direct and faster than passive voice (They were seen by the sniper.). - Filter Words: Words like saw, heard, felt, thought, realized, wondered put a layer between the reader and the character's direct experience. Removing them increases immediacy and pace.
- With filter word (slower): She saw the door splinter and felt a wave of fear.
- Without filter word (faster): The door splintered. A wave of fear washed over her.
- Description: The style of description matters. Short, sharp details increase pace. Long, lyrical descriptions slow it down.
3. Balance of Elements
The ratio of these elements within a scene is a key pacing dial:
- Action & Dialogue: Tend to speed things up.
- Introspection & Description: Tend to slow things down.
A common pacing problem is an imbalance—for example, a long passage of introspection right in the middle of a car chase.
4. Practical Exercise: Suggesting Revisions
Now it's your turn to act as the editor. Below is a short excerpt from a fictional thriller. The character, Elias, has just triggered a silent alarm and is trying to escape a secure facility before guards arrive.
The pacing of this excerpt is intentionally flawed. Your task is not to rewrite it, but to provide the kind of feedback a developmental editor would give to the author.
Manuscript Excerpt:
Elias felt his heart begin to beat faster as he realized the tiny red light on the panel was now blinking. He thought about how this was a very dangerous situation. The sterile white hallway stretched out before him, a long and seemingly endless corridor that reminded him of a recurring nightmare he used to have as a child, where he was lost in a hospital that had no doors. He knew he needed to move quickly. The distant sound of a heavy magnetic lock disengaging was heard from somewhere behind him, and it was a clear sign that his time was running out. He began to run down the hallway.
Your Task:
- Diagnose the Problems (2-3 bullet points): Based on our toolkit, identify the specific reasons why the pacing feels slow and fails to create tension.
- Draft Editorial Suggestions (2-3 bullet points): Write clear, actionable suggestions for the author to revise the passage. Frame your feedback constructively, explaining why you are suggesting these changes. (e.g., "To increase the urgency here, consider...")
Take about 10-15 minutes to complete this.
Conclusion
Today, we've broken down the art of pacing into a science. You've learned how to analyze and suggest improvements for one of fiction's most critical elements.
Key Takeaways:
- Pacing is about controlling the reader's experience of time and anticipation to create tension and emotional impact.
- There is no universally "good" pace; the key is choosing the pace that is appropriate for the scene's purpose.
- As an editor, you have a toolkit of macro (structural) and micro (sentence-level) techniques to suggest to an author.
- Effective feedback involves diagnosing the specific cause of a pacing issue (e.g., filter words, long sentences, misplaced introspection) and proposing a concrete solution.
Next Up:
We've explored how to shape the logical flow of nonfiction and the narrative tension of fiction. In our final lesson of this module, we'll turn our attention to the heart of any story: the characters. You will learn how to provide actionable feedback on character arc and development in a fiction excerpt.