Beyond the Resume: Asking Insightful Questions

1. The Mindset Shift: From "What do you do?" to "What excites you?"

The most common follow-up to an introduction is the question, "So, what do you do?" It's a conversational default, and because of that, it often gets a default, rehearsed answer. It invites credentials, not stories. To build real rapport, you need to break this script.

The key is to ask questions that tap into passion and curiosity. Communication expert Vanessa Van Edwards calls this "juicing dopamine"—using questions to trigger the brain's motivation and excitement chemicals.

As she explains, asking "Working on anything exciting these days?" achieves several things:

• It bypasses the autopilot response.
• It gives the person permission to talk about what genuinely interests them, which could be a work project, a personal passion, or a new idea.
• It frames the conversation around positivity and excitement from the start.

This single shift in phrasing changes the entire dynamic of the conversation, inviting the person to share a piece of their world, not just their job title.

2. A Framework for Deeper Questions: The Three Levels of Connection

Once you've opened the door with an exciting question, how do you sustain the momentum and go deeper? Having a mental map prevents you from getting stuck. The work of psychologist Dr. Dan McAdams provides a powerful, yet simple, framework for connection, which Vanessa Van Edwards explains beautifully.

The idea is that we connect with others on three sequential levels. Understanding these levels allows you to tailor your questions to the depth of the existing rapport.

Here is a summary of the framework:

• Level 1: General Traits. This is where you move beyond credentials to uncover interests and values. These are safe, positive, open-ended questions.

  • Examples: "What's been the highlight of your week?", "What are you learning about right now?", "What excites you about the current market?"

• Level 2: Personal Concerns. This level uncovers motivations, goals, and worries. These questions show you are interested in the person behind the professional. You would only move to this level if you've already established a good rapport at Level 1.

  • Examples: "What's the biggest goal you're working toward this year?", "What's a challenge in the industry that keeps you up at night?", "What motivates you in your work?"

• Level 3: Self-Narrative. This is the deepest level, exploring the story a person tells about themselves. These questions are for building strong, lasting connections, not for a first-time chat at a noisy event.

  • Examples: "What book, movie, or TV character is most like you and why?", "What's your biggest regret?"

In a networking setting, your goal is to master Level 1 questions and, if the conversation flows well, perhaps touch on a Level 2 topic. This structured approach helps you gauge the appropriate depth and avoid asking questions that are too personal too soon.

3. Practical Questions for Professional Contexts

While the three-level framework is excellent for building personal rapport, you also need questions tailored specifically to a professional environment. Asking sharp, insightful questions about someone's work and industry is a powerful way to demonstrate your own knowledge and genuine interest.

Here are some of the most effective types of questions you can adapt from the video:

• To Understand the Role (Insight over Description):

  • Instead of: "What's a typical day like?"
  • Ask: "What aspect of your job do you find the most rewarding?" This invites a story about a positive experience.
  • Ask: "How is performance measured in your role?" This gives you real insight into what success looks like at their firm.

• To Understand the Journey (Story over Credentials):

  • Instead of: "How long have you been at your company?"
  • Ask: "How did you begin your career? I'm always fascinated by the paths people take." This invites them to share their origin story, often full of interesting twists and turns.
  • Ask: "What's something that surprised you when you first started in this role?" This is a clever way to ask about the downsides or unexpected challenges, revealing a more authentic picture.

• To Demonstrate Your Curiosity (Peer-to-be over Student):

  • Ask: "What publications or thought leaders do you follow to stay on top of industry trends?" This shows you're serious about your own learning and gives you valuable resources.
  • Ask: "What's a current trend in the market that you think is being overlooked?" This positions you as a strategic thinker and opens the door for a high-level discussion.

4. The Art of the Follow-Up

Asking a great opening question is only half the battle. The real magic of conversation lies in the follow-up. A good follow-up question proves you were actually listening and are genuinely curious to learn more. This is what makes a person feel truly heard and respected.

As the article highlights, follow-up questions have a "special power." They don't require immense preparation; they flow naturally when you are truly listening.

• Example:
  • You ask: "What aspect of your job do you find most rewarding?"
  • They answer: "Definitely mentoring the new analysts."
  • Weak follow-up: "Oh, that's nice." (Conversation dies)
  • Strong follow-up: "That's fantastic. What's one of the biggest misconceptions new analysts have when they first start?" (Invites an insight/story)
  • Another strong follow-up: "What do you find is the key difference between an analyst who succeeds and one who doesn't?" (Invites a high-value insight)

A great follow-up question takes a general statement and asks for a specific story, opinion, or example. This is the "thread-pulling" we'll discuss in a later module, and it is the core engine of a deep and engaging conversation.

Your Drill: Build Your Question Toolkit

Let's put this all together into a practical exercise. This will help you build that "mental response toolkit" you're looking for.

Scenario: You are at a networking mixer for your university's finance department. You've just used your brilliant introduction on an alumnus who is now a Senior Equity Analyst. They are impressed and smile, ready for you to continue the conversation.

Your Task (15 minutes):

Open a document and, for the scenario above, write down the following:

1. Your Opening Question: Write down one great opening question that is NOT "What do you do?" (Use Van Edwards' "exciting" framework).
2. Your Professional Questions: Write down two questions from Jeff Su's categories (e.g., one about their career path, one about an industry trend).
3. Your Follow-Up Drill:
   • Imagine the analyst answers your career path question ("How did you begin your career?") with: "I actually started out in engineering, but I realized I was more passionate about the stories behind the numbers than the numbers themselves."
   • Write down two different, powerful follow-up questions you could ask in response. Aim to pull out a deeper story or insight.

This exercise will prepare you with a flexible set of pre-loaded, high-quality questions that you can adapt to any situation.

Conclusion

You now have a structured approach to asking questions that move conversations beyond credentials and into the realm of genuine connection. By shifting your mindset, using proven frameworks, and mastering the art of the follow-up, you can transform your networking interactions from nerve-wracking obligations into exciting opportunities for learning and relationship-building.

Key Takeaways:

• Break the Script: Replace "What do you do?" with questions that invite excitement and passion, like "Working on anything exciting these days?"
• Use a Layered Framework: Employ the Three Levels of Connection to gauge and guide the depth of your questions appropriately.
• Ask for Stories, Not Just Facts: Use questions about career paths, rewarding moments, and surprises to invite personal narratives.
• Master the Follow-Up: The most powerful tool for building rapport is a follow-up question that proves you are listening and are curious to learn more.
• Be Genuinely Curious: The best questioners are driven by a real desire to understand others. As Vanessa Van Edwards' research suggests, the most likable people are often those who are most interested in liking others.

Preview of the Next Lesson:
Asking great questions is the input side of a valuable conversation. The next step is to provide your own value on the output side. In our next lesson, we will focus on how to contribute relevant ideas or observations to add value to the conversation. This is how you transition from being an interviewer to being a true conversational partner, creating a balanced, two-way exchange of ideas.